My younger daughter performing Beethoven’s Sonatine in F-Major at a students’ concert.
“Every lesson is sacred, you know I never want to cancel a single one!” my littler daughter’s piano teacher told her the other day, “You build up, lesson after lesson, thousands of hours. And each single one is so precious !”. He seemed desperate, because an upcoming class was scheduled to be replaced by some kind of “project week”, where the music school students can try out other instruments.
“Trying out instruments”, taking lessons here and there, describes well my own musical “career”. After just a few years of focused piano learning my daughter already reached beyond my poor skills on that instrument, which are the result of thirteen years not so strict teaching and a very limited approach towards structured regular practice. Well o.k., I am bad at playing a few more instruments, not just piano.
Not pressed by immediate needs to perform at our best simply to stay alive (the normal state of affairs of our ancestors), we tend to embark on some kind of random walk through life. On- and off friends, changing relationships, a bit learning this and that, a part-time job and many hobbies. It doesn’t matter, we stay alive anyway, and by posting well selected and potentially staged episodes on social media we could even convince ourselves and others of living a happy life. It’s often a lie, and a waste of time.
When we are young, usually we want to enjoy life. I did so as well. Hanging out with random people I don’t even know any more today, spending lots of time (and some money) on romantic relationships which eventually broke up (and sometimes my heart), learning stuff at University which did not interest me but simply was part of some curriculum.
Hauptweg und Nebenwege – Paul Klee 1929 (Museum Ludwig)
Not just time passed, years, decades. Such life creates karma, that often so misunderstood Buddhist term.
Karma means that your thoughts (wishes, dreams) cause action and results in the world, for yourself and others. A few decades of random walk through life cause lots of Karma … and once you grow old enough to realise what your path through life should be, your place on earth as a human being, you might find yourself shackled down by the results of the life you lived so far: an unhappy or broken up marriage, kids you fight for custody, debt from a house you bought and maybe lost through divorce. You need to continue a job that you hate and which drains most of your time and energy just to pay for all the obligations being the Karma you produced earlier in life.
Reaching mid-forty, -fifty or -sixty, slowly becoming aware with decreasing energy levels that life might end one day, you want to fix it. But not with giving up all the accumulated load you carried so far through life. Too little, too late! Your life is destined to continue as a random-walk, just with a little spiritual detour added to the zigzag of useless efforts and encounters.
Part of the above well describes my own experience. Part of me, fortunately, started learning from good teachers early enough in life. Teachers who were dedicated to their mission, like my daughter’s piano teacher, teachers who’s lessons were just an overflow of their life and a burning passion for their subject. So I lived a double life, partially random walk, partially dedicated to follow a path laid out by my spiritual ancestors.
It is hard work to “stay in this world”, with a job, partner, maybe family and kids, and follow a Path. Time is a precious resource, and with growing age and competence, more and more people (and institutions) are demanding your contribution and time.
Does it make sense to practice just once or twice a week? Little effort is better than none your doctor may say. But maybe it is better not to practice at all if time and energy and motivation only free two or three out of the 168 hours a week does provide! It is less than 3% of our total time, little effort disappearing in statistical noise. Isn’t it better to just have a coffee after lunch instead?
With Hozumi Gensho Roshi at Jotokuji in Kameoka (April 2014 after my ordination)
I am sure, if there is true motivation, or true pain, the time for a regular practice will be there. If you spend more time on social media than you spend at your Dojo, don’t say time does not allow you to follow your Path. It is totally up to you: after 30 years, ten thousand hours on social media, or ten thousand hours of dedicated practice (*) ?
Soon enough you will be old, your teachers gone and your life must go on without a compassionate guide at your side. It is a harsh realisation, coming much too early and often very sudden (in spite of the fact ageing is a continuous process): all those who were ahead of me, kindly guiding me through life, they are gone.
What drives me to the Dojo every day? The joy of a focused dedicated practice, at first. Never ending curiosity to try something new, or deepen my approach towards something I have been doing for a long time. And last but not least, sheer desperation, when after spending more than half a life with Zen Arts the outcome of my work is still so poor.
It is not “me spending time for practice”, or not. Over the course of my life, I became one who is practicing. Like I am someone who is breathing, instead of spending time to breath.
Become one with your practice! Don’t waste your time. “Every lesson is sacred”.
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(*) 10.000 hours means about one hour per day every day for thirty years, including some holiday.